Seller be hacked! Hack yourself into the Art of 'Bargaining' (pt. 2)



Continuing from the last post (/blah blah blah) we are going to dissect the Seller’s psyche… and hack him to pieces. But before we go into the details of that, let us look at two more important elements that we discussed the last time round.

The existential reason for the misbegotten seller

The very existence of the product/service allows that person, you hate so much, to exist. Although there is not much you can do about it (other than exchanging price sticker of your favorite product A with that of a non-expensive product B, not recommended by me) other than undermining the value of the product (or secretly defacing/devaluing it to get a discount. Again not recommended by me at all) or simply looking for a cheaper alternative (think yellow, think red.) You could also lose hope in humanity and simply give up your dream of buying that new Proton powered Popcorn maker.

What you usually do with a ring

I once heard from a great Buddhist (Totally lying, Heard it from that movie ‘Inception’) that the most infectious thing in this world is not a virus or a pathogen but an idea. Once an idea takes hold in your mind, there is absolutely no way of getting rid of it. I, personally, am not sure of that logic. However, your proposition to a seller should exactly be like that idea. Either he/she should agree with you or should end up banging on your front door at 3 a.m. with a 10% further discount, if he/she didn’t agree with you the first time round.

We, by no means, are trying to turn people into Manchurian candidates (right.) On a serious note (right,) we implore you to use your innate wisdom and come up with propositions that make sense to you and the seller likewise (for example - his life for his new sedan is a very lucrative deal indeed.)

You could also use your inner eye in combination with your Qi and aura in tandem to enlighten your bargain hacks. This result in people around you generally getting confused and selling you what you want at the price you want! This is partly due to the fact that enlightened people (know the ones with a halo above them?) tend to speak random tidbits of pure illogical nonsense (subjectively speaking, of course.) Now an ‘enlightened one’ may just want to buy that small used Zippo off of you, but he will randomly ask you about the brand of your shirt, your favorite indie band, he will then make a weird noise and then ‘pretend’ to zone out. You will only realize that you don’t have your lighter anymore when you have checked the envelope, with $1 inside, he handed to you. This is also known as the Golden Kuzoryusen (flaming dragon… or mother of confused states.)

If however, you are into ‘Alternative bargaining’, be warned, no matter how many time you ask us, we will never recommend you to utilize High velocity projectile spewing devices (a.k.a. Guns.) Not while bargaining atleast.

Stay tuned to learn the final straw that will effectively make your seller go into submission…